Tired

So, the terms almost over FINALLY! Got rejected twice (almost a third) by guys, finally kissed someone new, but that didn't last too long. It sucks too because even though the guy wasn't my perfect, he was a good guy. Can I say I tried my hardest this term? In men, yes (lololol), in class, not really, but it was the first term of me living by myself, which is quite the step.

So guess what I ended up learning this year? I'm actually a messy person xD I mean, I can clean if I wanted to, but I have so much to do that I don't really have the time. Ok, that's a little lie, but LATELY I've been super busy. Especially today, jesus christ what a day. I haven't done much, other than work all day and go to Office Depot TWICE. Second time was totally worth it. I finally saw the cute worker that I've only seen once and that was in September. Got to tell him my name and hear the same thing he said last time xD It was fun. I'm still not done with what I have to do ): I'm just tired. I'm not gonna get much sleep tonight, I know this.

I'm also tired of hearing about my appearance. It's affected me so much that, even though I don't call anyone ugly or try not to, I don't always consider myself as pretty. I try to be, I try so hard. I've been dressing like a "hipster" just to look attractive and approachable. Even though it seems like I've got a ton of confidence by asking guys out, I really don't. When I come back home from flirting with a guy, I repeat the things I said to them and the way I said it in the mirror and think "Gross." I've been called ugly for most of my life and I know how much it hurts, hence why I don't use that word. It also hurts when friends tell me I'm pretty because I just feel pathetic that I have to be reminded that I'm not the worst looking thing on the planet. It's such a horrible and awkward discussion anyways because no matter how many times you tell your friend that they're gorgeous, they won't believe it. I mean I do have my days where I'm like "DAYUM, WHO DAT GURL" but from what society considers as beautiful, my physical features aren't really up there. My last guy was really nice though because I didn't feel ugly at all around him. He'd pause in between kisses just to look at me.

Wanna know something fun for me? I love reading my writing, even though my writing sucks. I have great ideas, I know it cause I think way too much. I don't feel smart though, not book/facts smart, which is fine for the most part. I like that I'm creative without trying so hard. And now the day is technically over. I have to finish my stuff, BAI

J vs. J

[5:25:13 PM] Sam: Things in common with
[5:25:16 PM] Sam: Sir jefferson
[5:25:22 PM] Sam: So
[5:25:23 PM] Sam: one thing in common
[5:25:25 PM] Sam: face
[5:25:26 PM] Sam: fugly
[5:25:40 PM] Sam: ok
[5:25:42 PM] Sam: second thing in common
[5:25:48 PM] Sam: ...
[5:25:50 PM] Sam: both work
[5:25:51 PM] Sam: at
[5:25:52 PM] Sam: a
[5:25:55 PM] Sam: grocery?
[5:26:14 PM] Sam: jefferson works at crappy miminum wage job
[5:26:19 PM | Removed 5:26:43 PM] Sam: This message has been removed.
[5:26:25 PM | Removed 5:26:39 PM] Sam: This message has been removed.
[5:26:28 PM | Removed 5:26:38 PM] Sam: This message has been removed.
[5:26:33 PM] Sam: sorry
[5:26:49 PM] Sam: both kinda dorky
[5:26:51 PM] Sam: jefferson
[5:26:54 PM] Sam: possible rapist
[5:27:03 PM] Sam: jake looks like a mouse
[5:27:05 PM] Sam: (cute?)
[5:27:11 PM] Sam: cute
[5:27:19 PM] Sam: jefferson looks like a parrot
[5:27:23 PM] Sam: (potential slur?)
[5:27:32 PM] Sam: offensive
[5:27:42 PM] Sam: ok
[5:27:44 PM] Sam: so
[5:27:59 PM] Sam: both have penis
[5:28:06 PM] Sam: (whitney may want?)
[5:28:09 PM] Sam: both could be part of
[5:28:11 PM] Sam: a zoo
[5:28:16 PM] Sam: not as workers
[5:28:36 PM] Sam: things not in common
[5:28:37 PM] Sam: ok
[5:28:40 PM] Sam: so
[5:28:43 PM] Sam: umm
[5:28:44 PM] Sam: jake
[5:28:46 PM] Sam: oh WAIT
[5:28:48 PM] Sam: jk
[5:28:51 PM] Sam: thing in common
[5:28:54 PM] Sam: ok
[5:28:55 PM] Sam: both have
[5:28:59 PM] Sam: both of their names
[5:29:01 PM] Sam: start with a letter
[5:29:09 PM] Sam: jay
[5:29:16 PM] Sam: ok
[5:29:20 PM] Sam: things anti in common
[5:29:28 PM] Sam: Jake works
[5:29:30 PM] Sam: in a higher position
[5:29:36 PM] Sam: (maybe he liikes to be on top)
[5:29:39 PM] Sam: jefferson
[5:29:41 PM] Sam: is really
[5:29:43 PM] Sam: really
[5:29:46 PM] Sam: represents
[5:29:48 PM] Sam: a bad worker
[5:29:51 PM] Sam: unmotivated
[5:29:56 PM] Sam: (could extend to bed)
[5:29:59 PM] Sam: slacker
[5:30:04 PM] Sam: makes whitney do all the work
[5:30:07 PM] Sam: jake also
[5:30:15 PM] Sam: has a gorgeous sexy flowing man hair
[5:30:21 PM] Sam: uses conditioner
[5:30:26 PM] Sam: jake is also white
[5:30:28 PM] Sam: very racist
[5:30:33 PM] Sam: WHILE JEFFERSOn
[5:30:35 PM] Sam: IS UNCLEAN
[5:30:37 PM] Sam: FITHLY
[5:30:39 PM] Sam: NON WHITE
[5:30:47 PM] Sam: mom does not approve
[5:30:50 PM] Sam: yes
[5:30:57 PM] Sam: Jake
[5:31:01 PM] Sam: can hold
[5:31:03 PM] Sam: a conversation
[5:31:04 PM] Sam: without
[5:31:09 PM] Sam: looking like a
[5:31:10 PM] Sam: fool
[5:31:17 PM] Sam: WHILST JEFFERSON
[5:31:21 PM] Sam: MAKES ME FEEl
[5:31:22 PM] Sam: AWKWARD
[5:31:25 PM] Sam: also
[5:31:26 PM] Sam: classical guitar
[5:31:42 PM] Sam: jake is taller than jefferson
[5:31:48 PM] Sam: and you know what they say
[5:31:51 PM] Sam: about being bigger
[5:31:56 PM] Sam: uh huh
[5:32:01 PM] Sam: whitney likes
[5:32:02 PM] Sam: small dicks
[5:32:11 PM] Sam: jake is a cooler name
[5:32:13 PM | Removed 5:32:36 PM] Sam: This message has been removed.
[5:32:41 PM] Sam: anyways
[5:32:41 PM] Sam: umm
[5:32:51 PM] Sam: Jake doesn't work as close
[5:32:53 PM] Sam: to your place
[5:32:58 PM] Sam: as jefferson did
[5:33:04 PM] Sam: oh no
[5:33:10 PM] Sam: longer running distance
[5:33:28 PM] Sam: jake remembered your name
[5:33:37 PM] Sam: jefferson called you britney
[5:33:39 PM] Sam: jake is cutere
[5:33:41 PM] Sam: ere
[5:33:41 PM] Sam: r
[5:33:41 PM] Sam: e
[5:34:02 PM] Sam: jefferson was a creeper
[5:34:10 PM] Sam: also the girl after whitney
[5:34:12 PM] Sam: is huge
[5:34:15 PM] Sam: jake is smooth
[5:34:17 PM] Sam: like
[5:34:18 PM] Sam: sexy
[5:34:19 PM] Sam: and silk
[5:34:40 PM] Sam: jake isn't as attractive
[5:34:41 PM] Sam: as other men
[5:34:45 PM] Sam: (realistic?)
[5:34:55 PM] Sam: we are done

Just..something x]

ofarevolution441: i ACTUALLY cried.

ofarevolution441: NOT exaggerating.

thenameswit: i cant believe you guys havent kissed!

thenameswit: dafuck man!

ofarevolution441: OR FUCKING HELD HANDS. THE FUCK.

thenameswit: ._. jesus

ofarevolution441: yeah. literally, if i even just met you in real life, we would probably be farther along in our relationship than sam and i are

ofarevolution441: as of this moment

ofarevolution441: UGH

ofarevolution441: (no, i'm not saying i want to go out with you. jesus.)

thenameswit: LMAO

thenameswit: HAHAHAHA XD

Ok, so this doesn't feel right.

Hai, i'm back and guess what

I GOT A NEW IPOD+CELLPHONE

went to see night at the museum dos;

AMAZING, because reminded me of maryland.

i also got mentioned today xD 

i was like LHEADJFH AHHH

pretty damn awesome.

idk how this week is gonna be like.

Uh So

I don't knoe if I wanna continue doing this blog thing. 

I've been slacking off and writing less.

I think I'll just do what the normal people do and blog when something amazin' happens.

Listen

http://witified.tumblr.com

BABIES

this is a girl.

♥

uhhh.

So TIRED X_X

ok; so i finished my ET homework ^_^

i didn't do any homework tonight because i am so fucking tired.

tomorrow i'll have time though.

gap was alright today.

andrew and i went home together.

it was alright, not as fun as goin' home with natti, kari and veno.

:\ ah well. 

ALMOST forgot.

my child is NOT going to have hair like that.

o hai. its kyle and chago.

Jay<3

thenameswit: like that guy

thenameswit: uhhh..

thenameswit: i think his names is

thenameswit: jaywinstheway

thenameswit: idk

ofarevolution441: oh yeah

ofarevolution441: i know that guy

thenameswit: yeh

thenameswit: hes kinda hot

ofarevolution441: jaylosestheshame

thenameswit: <_<>

thenameswit: o THATS it?!

thenameswit: my bad.

ofarevolution441: yeah yeah

ofarevolution441: there's one on mine

thenameswit: one what?

thenameswit: hot guy?

thenameswit: o_O

ofarevolution441: no

ofarevolution441: hot girl

thenameswit: oh ):

ofarevolution441: her names like rockinredtits

ofarevolution441: or something

thenameswit: LMFAO XD

ofarevolution441: nono

ofarevolution441: it's thenamestit

ofarevolution441: that's it

ofarevolution441: i'm thinking of her other accounts

ofarevolution441: y'know. i kind of stalk her

thenameswit: o rly?

ofarevolution441: yeah

ofarevolution441: i have a shrine

thenameswit: xD !!

ofarevolution441: *shrines

thenameswit: eh, i think she might be a hoe

ofarevolution441: oh don't get me wrong

ofarevolution441: she's a total slut

thenameswit: shes probably after that jayloseshisdignity

ofarevolution441: no no

ofarevolution441: his name is jayloseshisvirginity

ofarevolution441: get it right

thenameswit: ohhhhhhh xD

ofarevolution441: k i'm going to bed like the little boy that i am

ofarevolution441: night, tit

thenameswit: lmao xD HEYWAIT

thenameswit: NO

ofarevolution441: WHAT

ofarevolution441: WHAT

thenameswit: DONT CALL ME THAT XD

ofarevolution441: (in the butt)

thenameswit: jat.

thenameswit: xD

thenameswit: bastard

ofarevolution441: haha

ofarevolution441: k bye!

ofarevolution441: wit

ofarevolution441: thar

ofarevolution441: we

ofarevolution441: go

thenameswit: <3

ofarevolution441: <33,000

Lols.

Today has been a pretty fucking retarded day. xD

Woke up, finished my college essay.

Then realized I have to stamp it and blahblahblah.

Then went to brooklyn to shoot a video for my program, but it didn't even go off that well cause of assholes ^_^ 

I had fun for the most part, but realized Andrew is not for me. 

He's just really cute xD

Tomorrow is going to be shit because it's a tuesday.

Turns out if i don't get excepted in any oregon colleges, my mom wants me to stay here forever. 

Well apply for spring and work for 6 months.

Doesn't sound too bad to me.

Eh, now i'm just kinda thinkin about stuff.

Lets Just Say

I've been thinking a lot.

Short.

Lately a lot of the things I've been doing are short.

Blogs.

Videos.

Songs.

Chats.

Your mom. JK

tbh; i think it makes life easier for me and the viewer/reader/pedoWHAT?! --idk. i'm strange. X_X MAAAAAH NIGHT.

AEHGJFLGDRNFG

Today is such a weird day.

Some guys are fucktarts; others are sluts; a lot of them are both.

RAWR!

MEMOIR

IS DONE♥

Reasons Why I Love

Chago. 

Even though he's a slut, he's caring -- at times. xD

I find his weirdness adorable --for some odd reason.

I'm not afraid to do weird or silly things around him.

There's a lot more, but my head hurts like a bitch.

Fuuuuuck i wanted to go to school tomorrow but I knoe that I am not any better X_X Poor Kari..I told her I would go to our internship. :\ I'll give her something.

MAAAAAAAH DX

Swine You!

i feel like a monster.

just cos i'm sick.

no one wants to go near me,

because they think i have the swine flu.

well FUCK YOU!

lost my voice again X_X damn cold

AH:D+AW )8

AHHHH! :D o and districtlines contacted me i might be sellin some shirts :D bad news; i'm most likely not going to school tomorrow i feel HORRIBLE X_X which rly sucks cos i wanna see andrew ): but i dont want my snot sticking out when i talk to him

Triple Sneeze Day

I found it funny how the three of us took a picture one after the other. I didn't even knoe until I clicked pictures. I think it's lovely though. I added a ton of new songs to my ipod BUT i don't knoe where my ipod cord is!! I'm dying here X_X and on top of that i'm sick. In the morning I lost my voice and now i have a running nose. :\ maaaaaah. Hopefully tomorrow will be ok--OH SHIT i have to email gaurav and krystian X_X fml. Well I hung my green day poster up today. Pretty nice. I'm getting my bose headphones fixed soon ^_^ weeeeeeeee. later gators

Why Didn't I Bring My Camera?

Today was so fucking amazing. I had a sleepover last night, but we didn't do much since we had to wake up early the next day. I found out that Natty was weak though, HAH. We arrived late to our internship but for some reason the train ride (tehe) was so nice. I miss my bose headphones, they are like RAWRRAWR--i'm hopefully getting them fixed soon though. Andrew didn't go to the internship T_T It was still fun though. I got to direct, and party on railroad tracks. I really wish I had my camera though. Next time, I'm bringing my camera for sure. Going to Union Square was oober fun too, these guys were giving out green day posters, and singing to green day. One of the guys were hot and I was able to talk to him, but...turns out he was just waiting to get some weed...not cool X_X I ate soooo much today it was ridiculous. Two breakfasts, two lunches, three snacks, one huge dinner and another snack. yum yum yum. OH AND MAH GUITAR IS FIXED ^_^ this has seriously been a good day, and i haven't had one of those in a while.